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February 13, 2006
Patterns in life
I find that I go through patterns in life. I assume others do as well — some of you might even relate exactly to what I am about to talk about. I won't make that assumption though, so bare with me if what I say is obvious.
Like I was saying, I have a few core mindsets that I cycle through. Only when I look back do I really even see this pattern. To lay out a few that have been particularly prevalent for me, here are three: confident that I can take on the world; passionate and content that everything is as good as it could be; remembering that I do not enjoy just being comfortable; wondering what it is that I miss. Repeat. There are not harsh lines dividing them. I usually have a bit of all four, but at times one stands out a little more. The point of dominance is what I am focusing on.
I do not value any point along the path any more or less, nor do I regret going through the wave. Really I quite enjoy it. This is what ends up driving me. Sure there are outside forces (people, goals, ideas) which make me passionate, but internally this pattern is how I find the desire to drive my path. I will explain what the different so called patterns mean to me.
- The confident, do anything mindset. This is a feeling that always lingers, but only really takes over my life at turning points. Looking back these are the time when I make big decisions. Opportunities always seem to appear soon after I have this overwhelming feeling. Maybe the fact that I have that confidence, is what make the opportunities. I don't know, but I know that there have been several very key points like that for me. Some work related, some absolutely not — anyway great.
- Passionate and excited, yet totally content. Yep, I am talking about that time after starting something great. I think I spend most of my time in this state. I typically enjoy what I am doing. There have been jobs that I have had where you might ask how someone could be passionate about and others it is obvious about. Either way, I have loved every job I have had. I have been lucky enough to pick the places I have worked, but I promise, I have had some pretty grunt jobs. When I am not in this state, I am usually doing something about getting here (whether or not I realized it).
- Comfort. What an uncomfortable feeling that is for me. When everything is just fine, the trivial things start to become the focus for me. I think it is great to have some aspects very easy and comfortable, but if I do not have anything that challenges me, my passion dwindles. More than anything it is when I question my value. Once all the kinks are worked out, what great value am I adding that no one else could do? I ask myself things like this. Some people give advice that one should become indispensable for job security. I am of the opposite mindset. Working yourself out of your job is the fastest way to the next great thing. It is not about leaving a passion so someone else has to scramble, but to eliminate part or all of the heavy thinking part. Anyways, I could ramble on about this.
- Wondering what is missing. I am not really talking about not getting what one wants or deserves. I am talking about really digging deep to find out what exactly I want. Without bounds, what are the core things that make me feel successful at any point. For instance, there have been times where expanding my technical knowledge has been the number one most satisfying feeling. Other times, leading a customer focused initiative has been what I had passion for. This is a point where I begin by studying my most recent day to day patterns and what sends me home the happiest. Then depending on what new things I learn about myself I focus my thoughts on figuring out whether it is time for a little change or a bit one. Sometimes just rearanging a work space dedicating 5 minutes every morning to something special. Other times it is a clear road to that exciting time to go out and find the next big challenge.
I can look back and see this exact pattern as far back as I can remember. My specific interests have changed over the years, but this is how I work. I would not have it any other way. By the way, I know that I did not say what mood I am in right now. That was deliberate. The thoughts about the specifics are mine, but I wanted to share something I have never sat down and talked about.
Posted by layla at February 13, 2006 9:27 PM